Showing posts with label Memoir. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memoir. Show all posts


कौन कहता है हमे देश याद नहीं आता Part 2

सांभर खाओ और देसी मसालों के गुण गाओ. 
Read Part One Here

कौन कहता है हमे देश याद नहीं आता
आता है साब, बहुत कस के आता है

जब यूनियन सिटी सनीवेल सेनहोसे फ्रीमोंट सैकरामेन्टो
पलो आल्टो की गलियों से १०० की स्पीड से कोरोला गुजरती है

मिलियन डॉलर की इवैल्यूएशन वाला
हर घर कुछ कहता है

इंडियन ब्रांड के रूपा डॉलर के कच्चे
बच्चों की लक्स कोज़ी की बनियान

आंटी का लाल पेटीकोट कॉटन सारी ब्लाउज
और  डोसा बैटर का भारत बाजार में बिग साइज

चीख चीख के यह कहता है
की बेटा रे इस इलाके में  देसी टेकी ही रहता है

गली गली में क्रिकेट खेलते बच्चे
सलवार सूट वाली परमिंदर आंटी

बार्ट ट्रैन स्टेशन में
पैराशूट और डाबर आवंला हेयर आयल की महक

हैदराबादी बिरियानी से ले के
जलेबी कचोरी पानी के बताशों के लिए

लम्बी कतारें
वोह मंदिर के ग्रीन कार्ड वाले पंडित जी का आशीर्वाद

जब जब डॉलर लुढका का
मम्मी जी की कसम खाके कहती हूँ


कौन कहता है हमे देश याद नहीं आता

Taken on Pier 39, opposite Ghireradelli chocolate factory.
This pic is attached here in a sense ki desh yaad aata hain
to boat se tair ke ghar jaane ka man ho jata hoga to shayad
thoda emotional connect lage hahahah !
Please pardon me !

कौन कहता है हमे देश याद नहीं आता
हर रोज़ आता है सुबह छो बजे
क्योंकि अब दरवाजे पर कोई घंटी बजाने वाला नहीं है
रोज़ सुबह काम वाली बाई की वोह मीठी मीठी बातें, उफ़

आज तक से भी तेज अपार्टमेंट की गॉसिप्स
और ड्राई फ्रूट्स और घी पॉट की मॉनिटरिंग
अजी  नहीं रहे वोह खेल अब हमारे
और उससे जो टेस्टोस्टेरोन की डोज़ मिलती थी वोह भी नहीं रही

अब क्या बताएं कितनी याद आती है  वोह
एंटरटेनमेंट से भरपूर बाई
हर  वाइफ का नेशनल स्पोर्ट होता है
उसकी काम वाली बाई

हमे मिला क्या इस देश में  ?
एक नीरस डिशवाशर और वैक्यूम क्लीनर
लानत है !

सुबह उठने के बाद कोई ताजे  दूध का पैकेट पहुँचाने वाला  नहीं है
अब कोई सुबह साढ़े पांच पर यह पूछने वाला नहीं है
की मैडम वोह कूपन तो आपने नहीं रखा है
पर झोला रखा है, दूध देना है ना

अब कोई बालकनी में उत्पात मचाने वाला नहीं है
क्यूंकि जनाब इस शहर मे तो बन्दर या तो टीवी पे या जू में दीखे हैं
इंडिया की  तरह कौन फ्लोरा फौना का सीमलेस इंटीग्रेशन कर पाया है
वोह भी अर्बन लैंडस्केप में?

बोलो बोलो !

अजी ख़बरों की तो पूछिये ही मत


Small Town Girl Moves to ?

Bollywood ahhh i miss you so much, though i am now practically closer to Hollywood. 

Oh yes, this is a news and the only reason why my blog is not breathing as frequently as it should. A lot of my friends have poked me on this. A month back i was in a situation with three kids at home. One is my daughter and the other two her grand parents. And i haven't yet watched Piku but i am sure there will  be scenes in it straight out of my life, very recent. 

Trust me relocating is altogether a pain in your good fat place, that thing, your personal cushion. And i was told to do so all by myself to a different country. Sinha Ji moved in here sometime in Jan and i was flying over the city and later on driving like a mad cow with no license. But it came as a big support else living in suburbia i don't know how much i would have spent only on cabs.

In last three months probably the most exciting part was that of driving. I has so much in my mind to write about lest i have had time. Anyways.

No help from her is the greatest help i could ask for.
No volunteering please, please i insist. Mummy Papa you too.
Yours Truly,
Bahu Raani

Where are we now. We are here in a new city.


Babloo Pandit Ji !

Needless to say, Sanvi's dada dadi has a lot of faith in God. Though I am a Brahmin, I rarely take front seat to showcase my spiritual side; which is best exposed during happy hours when I critically acclaim all my failures to God and success to destiny. And now status is such, I am more acquainted with the temples in and around Gardani Bagh area, than Janam Bhoomi or Vrindavan. It's like every time we visit our dera, its a ritual to seek blessings of Mahaveer Stahan, Kalibadi, Sai Baba temple and our family' very dear one badka Pandit Ji.

Most of my childhood is spent listening to this :
"Pandit Ji yeh bataeye, sonu ki shaadi kab hogi " ?
Lo ho gai Monu se. Happy ;-)
While the gods are as constant as we had prayed to them last and so their temples, Surendra Pandit Ji - Badka Pandit Ji as he is called fondly and his son Babloo Ji - Chutka Pandit Ji has taken a great leap in terms of fame and wealth. I attribute this to none other than their prized clientele across states.

His calendars and diaries are as full as the CEO of an emerging enterprise who has found angel investors from Wall Street. For an appointment, he actually looks at his business planner and tells. People usually air lift him for weddings and house inauguration poojas. We were not so rich when we moved in to our apartment here in Bangalore and we managed with a Pandit Ji from open schooling system instead of the brand !

Om Namah Shivay !

Anyways, whenever we small town bright people do good in our lives its direct impact is seen on the fortune of our small town Pandit Ji as it takes a U-Turn from Khadi ki Jacket to Fab India's Egyptian Cotton Linen or Nalli's Tussar Silk Nehru Jacket !

Recently, due to Badka Pandit Ji's astute forecast, one of the Jajmaan has gifted him an ALTO car for winning the election in the TsuNamo wave. Now, the once deprived dhoti kurta clad pandit ji has got a chaueffer driven car waiting for him as he toys away with future of some politicians, aristocrats, dhanadya sethaaala afsar and aam adami like us on his smart phone.


Dental Porn to Panacea !

If the word ‘porn’ has excited you to read this post, you are going to get disappointed my dear or maybe not. Anyways, you are not going to believe me and still delve into it. Welcome on board.

One of the side effects of pregnancy is gums swelling, which I had when my daughter was born. The release of certain hormones which you don’t wish to know, I am sure, makes the gum prone for infection. The bad deal about this is you can’t have medicines since you are carrying, at first go. But if it’s unbearable you go hell bent on antibiotics. 

I was not so lucky. 

The Karnataka Rajyotsava falls on November 1st, which is a state holiday and religiously followed. And I happened to lose virginity of my gums around that time and survived the pain all throughout the day and night waiting for a sight of dentist, more than the fully grown 9 months baby kicking me every now and then. 


After surviving the longest night having more than 12 hours, we met dentist next day. She gave painkillers and I happened to deliver on 5th. This was in 2012. The day when I realized god was preparing for this havoc and giving me poor signals of what labour pain is though he missed his anatomy classes and got away with it, since he is he – God (god damn it) ! 

Two years later, I don’t what the connection is with Nov 1st, same episode got repeated. This time too, my gums acted and screamed like virgin pinacolada. My first reaction was, how my gums got pregnant this time, they didn’t have even have **x? But I said to my gums, Shut up yaar, you have been doing **x on the beach over blue lagoon, now call your bloody mary to take you to the dentist. 

With a series of drinks, that I never had, and sweets which I only engulf thrice a week - yesterday, today and tomorrow, it had to happen sooner than this. 

I was shaken and not stirred. 

And we went again. During the drive, like a wise women that I am becoming with blogging heheheh, I thought my wisdom tooth is erupting. Finally, giving me a dental certificate of words, that, I am going to utter or rather learn how not to chew words and put my foot in your, oops my mouth. 


Visit To Dentist and Remembering Raju !

Recently I have got a pearly white ‘composite filling’ tooth. They call it number 7. With all our childhood memories goes to saluting the dental hygiene of Raju in a classroom in front of Master Ji, I guess I missed my lessons.

Raju tumhare daant to motiyoon rahe hain jaise chamak!
Kyun ho Master Ji! Main Dabu Laal baby Manjan jo estemaal Poker hoon!

Earlier Master Ji and now me, we both envy pearly white teeth. May be Sinha Ji has better dental set up though he is very particular to expose them through a heartfelt laughter, as if giggles are taxed. He has questioned the lack of discipline, with which I am raised in childhood (including other aspects as well) and attributed my not brushing teeth before bed tea to that. 

365 days x 5 years, there is not a single day when I have asked him like a doting wife that I am, for a cup of tea and he replied, “Let me brush”.Hope you had read my account on why bed is taken..."Bed Tea Lovers Tell Me"?

Read related post, Dental Porn to Panacea


Laws of Physics & Life - Teacher's Day Memoir

With teacher's day on September 5th, I am writing this post and remembering some physics lessons from DPS and our very favourite S.K.Singh Sir. He was probably the most calm person i have ever seen in my life with an elephant like royal well rounded gait. 

I wasn't very bright in Physics but i do remember a couple of theories not because they are relevant for science but to life as such. 

One of which is Pareto's Law. 

I experience it every single day. 80% of my work is done in 20% of time (6 to 9 am) this involves cooking, sending all the three bright citizens of India to their work/school, managing maid, picking up right colored socks for Sinha ji, choosing which junk jewellery will go with my outfit and above all packing food my toddler ( only 5 little packets each one having different edible), dry waste segregation, reading Jug Suraiya, FM, checking mails, monitoring two picky eaters if they have finished their breakfast or not...ufff. Let me catch some breath. 


So, is theory of relativity. 

Einstein gave the most important lesson for life with this theory. Sorry, Singh Sir, i might have not understood E = MC2 what does it mean but now i can give a wholesome lecture on that. And my starting punch line would be, "What may be a basic necessity for you is already a far fetched luxury for someone else and vice versa". See. Theory of relativity hence proved. This reminds me E=MC2 invest in education projects as part of corporate social responsibility. Wondering it would fetch me more energy and continue momentum at higher speed. 

Can't get more apt quotation than this one
for my teachers and what their student
has bloomed or doomed into. 


First Love to Break-Up #Condition_Serious_Hai

First love, first date and first kiss are moments made to get etched in your memory forever, only to be cherished later. They are the moments who teach you about relationships and their innocence. One such memory, relationship thread is stuck almost chocking me these days. Its a piece of bad cholesterol stuck somewhere near my vena cava. 

Today its cathartic release is necessary to clear shelves of my heart. I was writing on valentine's day post, my little one did something which make me go in my past. I hope Suri Saab won't mind because it was this very my old flame who got me introduced to him.

We got into a banal relationship more out of need than out of cupid's archery. In such affairs you know that the future is not long term or bright to say it right, but at that very moment you assure yourself, this is the best deal i can get in this small town and you shake hands. Mundane hi hellos turn into late night calls, exchanging smses, getting to know each other to bits and pieces. You start spending leisure time together, sometime casually, sometimes you plan and sometimes because you had no other plans. He also made himself available for you, cent percent. Eventually,  as the time flies, you discover the weak links in your spouse that switches you off and extract the hidden irritant in you. You both argue, hang up, mash up but recoil again to manage. You keep telling lies at home and keep on siphoning the hostel pocket money on him, mindlessly.