Showing posts with label Parentedge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parentedge. Show all posts

29/01/2015

Two is A Company

Life has truly come in a full circle like this tyre in
these two years - a roller coaster ride, bringing
three of us together, closer ! 
Published in Parent Edge.

The moment i forget that i am her mother and i have given birth to her, things get simpler. The moment i start respecting her choices no matter how ignorant, harmful, senseless they are or so seem to me. But for her age, even at 2 years 2 months, i get so astonished to observe how badly or promptly a child, sorry, correction, a dwarf adult reacts and responds to ensure her wishes are met. 

It's in solitude like this during night i wonder watching her asleep. How i forget to see a person living in a toddler. As a mother all i can see is a baby all the time. And the very fact that its me who have brought her to this world, she is my property. 

She has to do, act, plan, think, fall in line as per my wish. 

Do as i told you. 

May be, because it makes me feel powerful. However, the reality is just the opposite. I am a dependent variable. Like my stakes are higher. It's me who want to raise her in a certain manner or way or instill certain values. A child is born free and remains free for a very long time atleast in their mind. It's actually the parents who become captive of their own ego.

29/11/2014

What's Your Parenting Style ?

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.

Last weekend I happen to attend a session on "Effective Parenting" by Dr Brunda Amrutraj - Clinical Psychologist, organized by Infosys for their employees and spouse. By all means, a productive employee needs to have a peaceful balanced personal life too, specially a full time working mother.

Initially, I was reluctant to attend this session as my needs are 'not special' after all and as a women I ought to know how to raise a child, atleast this is what society expects at the outset. But as we entered the auditorium seeing its full capacity I felt a little better as a women and far better as a  parent. Or was it an instant empathy drawn after seeing fellow victims of parenthood marred by nuclear family structure with aspiration to balance kids on the scale of career. 

Image Courtesy: www.parentfurther.com 
The ice-breaking question was inviting enough to break the silence of audience. "Why is it that parenting is really a big deal, now a days ? There are blogs, classes, counselling sessions, depression, stress all associated with parenting? Isin't the most ancient nurturing bond that comes to us instinctively"?  All of us said all sort of things, which were complementing to an extent but "overload" of information was zeored on as the main culprit adding stress in parenting. The overload of information and the constant quest of it to fix the problem, without actually going in depth of it.

Parenting is an art and skill.

22/08/2014

Let Your Child Volunteer

"If you buy things you don't need, soon you will have to
sell things you need. " 

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read

Every weekend on a trip to grocery stores starting with names with Mega, Hyper, Metro or Big market of the city, I couldn't help but observe one thing consistently at the billing counter. A child dragging a set of parents, howling incessantly or throwing fits in anger on the floor or unwilling to let go off that toy s/he picked up from somewhere.

Poor parents shying away the public spot of shame wants to escape immediately. However, a couple of pursed lips or raised eyebrows keep staring parents. So they bow down by loading ‘picked up unwanted thing’ in the cart or get away with a quick fix bribery of chocolate bar or soft toy, strategically placed on purpose at exit points - peace at both ends.

I am sure you too would witness it on your next visit. However, this doesn't address the real issue of having an unending desire of urban children to collect things because their parents can afford it without ever asking “do I need this” or having a look at the price tag. With more double income families, higher disposable income, peer pressure at school the difference between ‘need’ and ‘want’ is diminishing.

22/07/2014

Help Your Child Identify Sexual Abuse

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.

The tag of disability on a child or a woman who has undergone a sexual abuse as a reason to become soft target, give me chills down the spine. But it happens almost all the time. Why ? I am agitated to the core to rant about this issue due to the recent defamation of the six year old child, in the name of "special needs" to justify rape in the high end mainstream school premises.
In other words, the perpetrators of crime along with school endorse the view, that, a child with special needs is at much higher risk of such crimes. So, since their vulnerability is already high, the onus of misconduct lies more on the "mental status" of the child herself than the criminal.
I just fail to comprehend the illogic behind such stained notion?
Why is it that a sexual assault on a child with disability or having special needs is seen as a lesser crime? Special needs or none, child sexual abuse in itself is a heinous crime. As a society, community, parent, school, teacher its our duty to safeguard a child despite their ability to communicate. A neglected or unnoticed case of child sexual abuse irrespective of his or her special needs, is putting a child at a greater risk of similar incidences in future and empowering the paedophile.

To avoid this, teach your child with an acronym HELPING. Tell them the signs where they need to ask for help and share with parents.
HELPING things, which we can do to safeguard safety of  our children are:
H - Hug and Hoot : Teach the child that if someone hugs them again and again, they have to hoot or shout at loud voice. They have to come back home and tell mummy or papa.
E - Environment Friendly: In your absence, inform neighbours, security or a trusted friend to take care of kid. Always cross check information about care givers.
L - Love Making Scenes: We don't always control what we are watching on TV and what kids are learning from it. But if the situation is unavoidable, use it as an opportunity to educate them. Like how too much of kissing, putting hands in neck, tummy, thighs are part of bad touch and should be reported.
P - Pledge Patience : Take a pledge with your kids in a fun game to talk and share daily as to what happened at their school and in turn share your routine at office or home. Lend a patient ear to all what they have to say, without the fear of being punished or scolded for sharing mischievous acts. 
I  - In Between Legs/Chest/Bums: Don't wait for such incidents to occur to take a cue and talk about sex education to your kid. Make it a casual activity to teach the child about warning signs of bad touch - in between legs, chest, bums, lips. Make a routine, not a one time "keep your mouth shut" activity.
N - Neutral Response: As a parent we tend to set certain notions in our kids minds, unknowingly. One of them is sex. Please make sure when the child shares any gory details about themselves or someone in their circle, maintain a calm and don't shut the child up.
G - Genitals Name and Privacy: Don't settle toddlers for cute names for private parts. As soon as they start talking, teach them the right terms including undergarments. Take help of their toys to name them and during bath time. Also teach them how no one should remove clothes of their doll, teddy bear and from their own body.

We  can’t always accompany our kids everywhere they go, no matter how much we want to. What we can do is to empower our kids with the right information and instil the confidence in them to come to us with their doubts and fears.

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On 23rd of every month, I write on disability theme for Parent Edge Magazine.

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22/05/2014

Assistive Technology for Differently Abled


Image Source: IRIS Smart Home Website

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read

Welcome to the era of digital natives, where technology is the king. Right from hand held devices, touch screen, tablets, e-books, videos, movies, everything to do with entertainment to education is delivered through technology. 

Thankfully, it has been a boon for children with special needs, who wish to overcome their impairment, through learning computer for education as well as to stay relevant in terms of future employment opportunities. With the advent of internet, now its easier to have access to information with the use of  computer/ mobile phone/ TV via assistive technology tools.

22/04/2014

19. Strike Up a Conversation with PWD : Without Feeling Awkward



Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read.

Disability sensitization is a subject, close to my heart. Therefore, i am posting my article written in Feb for ParentEdge Magazine. Hope you will share it to increase awareness. Thanks. 

More often than not, parents get uncomfortable with queries raised by their kids after seeing children with special needs (CWSN) or persons with disabilities (PWD). To chide away such questions and settle for instructions like "don't look there" or "come here" are some of the common responses parents choose instead of making an attempt to educate them with facts and right information, may be little later. 

23/03/2014

How to Treat Children With Special Needs (CWSN) - Learning from Maysoon Zayid

Maysoon Zayid - Laughter Therapist.
              "If there is an Oppression Olympics - I would be a gold medalist. I am Palestinian, I am a Muslim, I am a female, I am a virgin, I live in New Jersey with Palsy." - Maysoon Zayid, First Arab American Stand-up Comedian

Published in ParentEdge Magazine, click here to read

This post is dedicated to the most lively, positive and empowering talk on disability and everything that is right about it. An ability, an opportunity to rise above the average. Presenting some excerpts on disability and parenting from her talk at India Today Conclave, 2014.

Survival of the wittiest, yes, that's what Maysoon Zayid stood out for loud and clear with a subtle yet sensitive message on racism, disability and Islamophobia unequivocally.She is the most inspiring and humorously righteous stand up comedian who pulls out laughing fodder from her own life, with lessons for parents and society on how to treat a children with special needs (CWSN).