Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts


Count Your Blessings

This new year has started and someone very dear from our family has left us alone in our forward journey. So, there is one person less now, who loves me the way i am - imperfect. And, sitting here so far from your roots, you wonder why have you come this far when you can't even see that person one last time. As you get the news on phone, your memory goes in flashback unfolding every minutest detail about that last meeting, their characteristic nature you had never really cared for with an empty feeling in your gut - you feel pity on yourself, helpless for the things you thought you will say someday or gift or make that person feel special. 

And if i take this an indication of God, i really need to mend my ways to treasure people who have been in my life. I may have not said how important they are? And how much i owe my happiness to them? How much my life stories are weaved around them? But really, how often we do that - i somehow survive keeping both side of my families together with almost neglecting friends, not that i want it that way. But as you mature in life, as i have grown in my life - i find solace in low maintenance relationship based on understanding or detached yet in-sync. Rather than 'trying hard to please you' types - with women its even more complicated. If its with me it has to be real - the world is already full of fake people. 

Even then, i have felt quite often its been so hard for me to tell my family & friends how much i value them for being there because its like you rarely express love to those who you love the most ! For the simple reason that your existence is so dependent on them and you can't imagine your life without them. And i don't know how many of these relationships will stand through the test of time without me showing gratitude or simply put - me being me. 

Death is such a leveler. One news of a near and dear one send shivers down your spine and you get so insecure about losing people that makes your life your's. I am telling myself not to over analyze or over think about it. I am learning, i will learn, its about the memories you make and remember even when that person is not there if your life.

Sharing a touching advert i saw recently. 

Poem by: Daniel Titz & Dorian Lebherz, John Reilly

Walking the roads of our youth
Through the land of our childhood, our home, and our truth
Be near me, guide me, always stay beside me
So I can be free

Let’s roam this place, familiar and vast
Our playground of green frames our past
We were wanderers
Never lost
Always home


Nostalgia of Small Towns & Real People

My Dadi ji (we used to call her Amma) and dada ji (we used to call him Pitaji). If you know me enough, I mean close enough, you will find a similarity in my face and his face. Amma was truly Amma, she will beat us with her stick and share stories at bedtime. And Pitaji, I used to take pride for he is Commissioner and would go with him for public meetings, inaugurations.
He would have really adored my association with NGO sector, I was in class VIII. But the biggest guilt of my life is not
being able to meet my Amma in her last days. I had joined my first job in Hyderabad (2005) in a big Canadian funding agency and my induction was going on that time.  I quit that job within 3 months to go closer home.

What is it in our small towns that gives us immense pleasure and satisfaction in return ?

It is or convenient relationship with them. We keep going back to our 'desi' roots whenever we are in fix, confusion, pain, despair or utter chaos and yet settle of anonymity of a big metro city. To resume the journey of a 'small fish' in a big-big very big dirty pound, where the small town fish has to survive to become 'someone'.

And what is the price of becoming someone - emotions ! The constant chase of a goal often unknow turns into our greatest dilemma, The dilemma of our belongingness. We cut ties of festival celebrations, our absence in weddings become a norm, high school friends are lost in transition as we spread our wings in the sky.